Sunday, September 28, 2014

Healthy...but not a Trim Healthy Mama

Some of you read my post about my healthy journey. I know a healthy lifestyle is all about eating well and exercising (and getting enough rest). But still, I have some problems with both eating and exercising.

The exercising is about finding things I like to do, and know I will do. I know I will walk and jog in my neighborhood. I know I will do pinterest workouts in my home and with my kids. I also know I will swim with the kids in summer. What I will not do is a workout dvd, go to a gym or anyplace I have to drive to workout, or anything that requires me to leave home/pay money/get up early. I know, it sounds very lazy and cheap. It probably is to some extent. But I know what I am and am not willing to do. So I do what works for me...and honestly i exercise quite a bit. I walk about 15-17 miles a week give or take--(sometimes with leg weights, sometimes jogging a little), and do about 5-6 pinterest workouts.

Food is my other huge challenge. I love to cook. I love baking and making traditional meals. I LOVE it. I also like to eat. However, eating has never been a big draw for me, like it is for some people. My appetite isn't huge and when I am done, I refuse to eat more. I can't, really. Food becomes gross to me. And I also don't care that much for sweets. Seriously. Odd, I know. A couple of bites and I am, for days. One cupcake will hold me for a week if I can finish it. Soda is not something I like either. But I love casseroles, hearty soups, veggies, fruit that is tropical (or berries), salads, and all the mainstream foods, especially if it is salty. Cheeses are iffy for me, as is all dairy. I have an internal monitor that tells me if I can eat dairy on any given day. "Lactose levels are strong in this one" (read that in a Jedi voice). Some days I can't even be around the smell of dairy products.
So what is my problem???

It's that blasted Trim Healthy Mama book I keep hearing about, and the results I see on other people. I get the premise. Don't ever mix fats and carbs in a meal because you can't tandem burn them, so you store the one you don't burn. Unfortunately, most foods we eat are a combo of fat and carb. Think bread and butter, grilled cheese, burgers, lasagne, potato soup, tortilla soup, salad with cheese and a side of crackers, cake with frosting, quesadillas.....and on it goes. SO along comes THM with its own recipes and substitutions that work to burn fat while you eat your faves. That is great news for many people. The 600 page book has been a wonderful thing for so many, and I waffle about whether I should buy it and try it. I could actually burn the last bit of fat I have hanging around the torso. That would be awesome. But here are reasons I don't do it. Won't do it. Can't do it. Oh, and did I mention I am also a bit stubborn??

First, I am on a food budget for this family of 7, a budget I had to increase this summer even though it really wasn't financially feasible, in order to accommodate the new gluten free status of two kids. That stuff is costly to keep and I have to make food separately for them most of the time. Also it was a new way of cooking that I had to learn. And most of us in my house don't want to or need to eat GF so to keep costs down it becomes more labor intensive for me. If I added THM to my life it would be more costly to buy the new products (they are pricey) and time/labor intensive to learn how to combine and cook all the new recipes. And it would be just for me.  I just don't have the desire to carve out the time and energy to do it. Or the extra grocery money to do it. Some days I struggle just to remember what needs to be done and get everyone their specific food and medicines. I mentally cannot add more to my cooking life right now. It seems very overwhelming to even consider it. And there is the crux of why I cannot bring myself to do THM ...yet.

So, for now I will hang on to those last few pounds. I am going to refer to them as curves :). And maybe, just maybe, one day when the kids are bigger and I am not cooking for a whole family and the money is available I might try THM, because clearly, the results are real. Right now it is too overwhelming. I am just going to do my best to eat well rounded meals made at home and keep exercising. Because right now, if the whole family can't eat it, it won't get made. I am just not up for running a home restaurant at this point in my life.

But one day....just maybe, I too will be a THM! Until then I will be cheering on my friends as they become Trim Healthy Mamas! You go girls!

Friday, September 26, 2014

How Do You Do It???

Ahh, the old question some of us moms get from new moms...especially if our kids are older or we have more than two. Well, I am here to dispel the myth. I am here to reveal the truth of how we do it all and get it all done and maintain such well behaved kids and look so fabulous.

We don't. That is it. We just don't.
You see a miniscule glimpse into our life when we are out and about. You cannot imagine what it might have taken to get out of the house. There were compromises, probably arguments, almost certainly frustrations and delays...and DO NOT under any circumstances, ask to see what the house or inside of our van looks like now that we have made it out of the house. Because they both look like the whole family has been actually living there. You also assume that the smile on our face or the well behaved kids mean we are perfect and have all the answers. Nope. Not even close. What goes on inside us is doubt and anger and joy and thinking and pride and frustration and second guessing and strategies for getting through the rest of the day and night. The kids might have been manipulated and groomed for what they were heading into. They may have been bribed. They may or may not have underwear on. Just saying...They may have some medication in them, or maybe just coffee. Who knows. Some days go better than others. Some are a surreal dream. Some are a surreal nightmare.

The point is--regardless of appearances, we all live our life. We have kids that obey, and disobey. We lose our temper, and are kind. We wonder why our day is going poorly. We struggle to find time to read the bible and pray. We wonder why we have no energy. We forget to set food to thaw for supper. We have lists everywhere. We forget to write things on the list because we moved from one room to another and lost the thought. The kids fight. The kids leave things all over the house. We have messes. Laundry piles up. Dishes are always dirty. Someone is always hungry. Kids have to be constantly reminded to pick up and put things away. They argue. We argue. We discipline. We break away for a few moments alone. We sweep and mop probably 20 times a day. Sometimes we let it all go because someone is sick, or its really nice outside. Sometimes home is clean and sometimes it is not. Sometimes we all get along and sometimes we don't. Mostly you see the product of daily habits of picking up at regular intervals through the day, spending time on good character and relationships (things that matter in the grand scheme of life) rather than lots of academics and sports, and a hearty work ethic in the form of chores (aka life skills). When we have an event (think party) you see the product of a few hours of serious cleaning. Some of us are more OCD with cleaning than others. Some are more relaxed. Pop in randomly some day and you will see.

"I want to come watch you and shadow you for a day to find out how you do it"....Ummm, nope. Not going to happen. Know why? Because the moment anyone steps into the house (besides those who live there) the entire dynamic changes. It isn't real. We now have "company". The kids know it. I know it. And besides, every single day is different. You need to be a fly on the wall. You would see life as it is. And it would make you feel really good because you'd instantly realize you are actually doing a pretty great job. You are surviving the way everyone else finding your own path.

So the bottom line is this--we are all struggling, because marriage is hard, parenting is hard, life is hard. But it is also very, very joyful.  Joy and happiness are choices. Life takes hard work. It is not for wimps or lazy people. There are no manuals anywhere for your exact situation. You just have to keep walking your path, seeking wisdom, applying what you learn, and praying for a good outcome. If you don't like what is going on, examine the circumstances and start thinking about ways to make work it better for you and your family. That takes work and time. No one can, or wants to, do it for you. But it is certain that little effort will yield little results. You are not a tree. If you don't like where you are, move. And remember this line from Its A Wonderful Life--It is better to want what you get, than to get what you want. Bloom where you are planted. Tend to that garden you were given.

You may not see it but your influence is great. Sure, your life and your kids aren't like other people's. Theirs aren't like yours either, you know. Somewhere there is a mom or two who looks at YOU and wonders how YOU do it all. Did you know that?

You are capable of being enough for your family. They love you deeply. Love them in return. That is the secret. But if it makes you feel better, wear a cape. That's cool too.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Mommy Bloggers

The new trend (for me anyway) is to get news from facebook feeds and such. I think that is both good and bad. In one sense I love it because I have learned so much and have seen that other moms feel the same as I do and struggle with the same things. I have learned what to pray for and how to be more organized, exercises to make me healthier, alternative medicines to use, and new dishes to cook. Parenting strategies and Christian studies that have been very helpful have also been wonderful. In another sense it can breed covetousness and feelings of inadequacy if you can't live up to the pretty posted pictures, and get too caught up in the lives of the other people in the world.

My favorites are the mommy bloggers. You probably know some. I follow several. Some of my tops are Scary Mommy, Rage at the Minivan, Pennington Point, Mix and Match Family, Pioneer Woman, We Are That Family, and Marathon Mom to name a few. Some I readily identify with. They truly seem to live a life similar to mine. They have more than 2 kids, the house is always behind in cleanliness, and they second guess themselves. They live by trying to make ends meet each month, raise wholesome kids in today's world, and manage a crazy life. Then there are the ones living in homes that look like mini-castles, homes that never seem to be dirty or even mildly dusty, who wear the cutest fashions on their tiny frame, and who have parties where even the cookies are out of my budget (but they are awesomely cute!).

It is ok not to identify with everyone. I can still learn from them all even if we are on completely different playing fields of life. And we are. We all are.  Everyone out there is sharing and that makes me happy. The world doesn't feel so alone. I find things to strive for. I love all the neat posts no matter how varied. I don't always agree or identify with them but they are still learning experiences for me.And they are way cheaper than magazines.

Sometimes I ponder the idea of making my blog earn money for me, like many of them do. I just can't seem to be interested enough to want to carve out the time to figure out how to do that. I'm not a tech person, and I am quite busy with things I feel are important. This just doesn't yet rank up there in the important things of my current life. Also I am prone to long dry spells of blogging. If you make money from your blog, it needs to be posted to consistently, like daily.

Yeah, not happening for me. I may glance at FB daily and twitter a couple of times a week, and post a picture to instagram once a week or so, but beyond that, it is just too exhausting to do more with media, for me. Maybe one day I will jump on the mommy blogger bandwagon...but by then I might have to be a grandmother blogger. Not quite as relevant I guess. So I will just be content to keep reading what these lovely ladies share, and keep my blog mostly private for the time being. Because while many women can and do make the time for blogging, I think my feelings on it can be summed up in the phrase....Ain't nobody got time for dat!

Keep it up ladies! I love reading your stuff....and you will probably never see mine ;)

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Health and Nutrition Are Important-but there are consequences

The history of my health is not inspiring. I was a normal kid who rode bikes and played on swingsets and jumped rope. We had an hour of PE and two recesses at school. It was required. From age 9-12 I played summer softball. From age 13-16 I performed with a drill team in autumn. I never played sports beyond that. Didn't want to, wasn't interested. I ate what I wanted. Then I went to college--basically out of shape and with teenage eating habits (candy, sodas, and chips). Still, I was not overweight. Never have been. I just had "well placed fat". I hated working out so I took my four PE credits asap and worked, while taking a full load of classes. I lived on coffee and bagels for a couple of years and lost weight. Too much weight--like down to 109lbs for a 5'7" medium build frame of a girl who needs to be a good size 8 misses. I was a size 6 and was told I could not give blood because I was underweight and not healthy enough. Then I began teaching and eating and cooking (I was married). I got up to that size 8 and stayed there for years. It was about where I was in high school but with more womanly curves. Oh, and almost no exercise at all, except for walking now and then.

Then came children, starting when I was 28. Five of them in 8 years were born. It should be noted I gave up soda when i got pregnant the first time and have only had them sporadically over the last 16 years. I really don't care for soda. Anyway, I was at my heaviest after the second was born (two kids in 19 months). But after nine months I was back at the size 8. I was an active mom with active kids. We walked everywhere and rode bikes and I carried the whole house with me everywhere usually with a couple of toddlers and a baby in my arms or in a monstrous stroller. I had some muscle! I know because one thing they do to moms is weigh them often, and I went from 130lbs to 150lbs at that size 8, over the years. So, i guess I was doing better just by being a busy stay at home mom.

When the youngest kid was 6 I decided it was time to exercise, for me. I wanted to be healthier and toned up. I found some great workout wear on clearance at JC Penney and actual workouts on pinterest. I got an exercise ball, some arm and ankle weights, and started walking daily and working out. I thought I would tone up and that would cause me to get a little bit slimmer in the process, along with eating better. I cook most things from scratch. I really do eat well and drink tons of water. I don't care much for sweets either. is what actually happened when I got healthy (at age 42, by the way):

I walked and did my workouts about 5-6 days a week, trying to push myself to be stronger and have more endurance. Then a friend asked me to do a 5K with her. I did, and signed up for an extra one just for practice. I began jogging with the couch to 5K program. That nearly killed me. I have never discovered the "runner's high" that some experience. I still hate running most of the time. I jogged for about a year and then injured a foot tendon from wearing improper shoes. Let that be a lesson to all of you! Get the right shoes! I know they cost big money but I promise you will want to use your feet every day of your life. I was still eating right and working out with weights. It paid off. I took a self defense class and found out I really was strong! Encouraging. Yes! I was not jiggling. I was strong. My blood work came back great. I had endurance. I was healthy!
But there was a side effect. I was not a size 8 anymore. I was a 10-12. And still am. You see, getting healthy means you will gain muscle, and that weighs more than fat. I put on about 10 pounds ( I know this from the doctor's office. I have never owned a scale) and was rounder in many key areas than ever before---think rear, and calves, and arms. My abs were tight, but that just made the loose pregnancy skin sag more. Not fun. But the muscles were tight. The strength was present.
I have endurance. I don't jog as much to save my foot from surgery, but I still do it sometimes. I'm just a little stubborn. I walk/jog a minimum of 2 miles a day...usually more like 4. I do workouts with 8lb arm weights every week. I do yoga poses, ballet tightening, cardio, and crossfit work outs. I fit in at least 3-6 of these every week. I eat right and drink lots of water and take my vitamins. And I am bigger than I was before I started it all. Women who are like me have to get over wanting "thin". Wanting a certain size clothing. We have to wear what fits well and flatters. Anything else looks awful. We have to dress the body we were given by God and take care of it by keeping it healthy. My husband likes it now that my body is tight and I am healthy. I am a better example to my kids--and I make them work out now too. I feel better. But I do admit to sometimes wishing I was still that smaller size. Media does a number on us girls that are over a size 6. It is hard not to notice. But I also notice most women who are really healthy are not tiny little people with bones showing. They are toned and fit and strong, and come in all shapes and sizes.

When I was thin I was my most unhealthy and light weight and a smaller size. That isn't true for everyone, but it was for me. Not everyone gets the results I got from working out. And that is ok. I still find it hard to clean out the clothes that are now too tight thanks to working out. They were a smaller size that used to fit, before I was fit. But that is the way it goes. I am getting older, and am healthier than I have ever been, and this is me. God made me and I take care of what He made. It's all good.

Home Improvements?? Indeed.

As I told you over the summer, we were facing some challenges with a couple of the kids. A storm of life. And we struggled and prayed and searched for solutions. It was hard. Sometimes it was so hard I really wanted to just throw in the parenting towel and be done. I am not kidding. But through prayer and patience and a trial and error system we have come to a good place. My kids will survive this school year and so will I. Not only will we survive, we will thrive. Last year I couldn't say that.

So what changed??? A lot has changed. Hindsight lends so much insight. What I thought was a behavioral issue with one child, actually led to a realization that another child had a major food issue. So we tried the proverbial killing of two birds with one stone. First, I spoke with a therapist. I also spoke with several friends who deal with the same issues in their children. Then i formulated a plan. I decided to use an elimination diet for gluten. I hated it because I love to bake. And the gluten free stuff is so hideously expensive. I also hated that there would be no more burger joints or toast or rolls or pancakes or crackers or any bread without offering a GF option as well. Big FAT bummer.

However, after doing this diet for three weeks, there was a significant difference in one of the kids---not the one I was originally trying to help mind you. SO that was awesome. But still the issue remained with one. It was better, but not enough to be good. One meltdown every three weeks instead of once or twice a week still wears a mom down fast..So I employed essential oils.

Folks, I am a natural skeptic. I didn't want to believe a GF diet would help or that these oils I saw as "mystical" and weird would help, but I was at the end of my rope, short of psychiatry. So I did some research and chose some and gave them a try. i also found out about a supplement that helps ADD kids and employed that. So where are we now and what have we learned?

I can homeschool these kids. In July I wasn't so sure I could do that ever again. But some new things have to happen. These kids MUST eat GF bread products, especially avoiding the processed kind (homemade is not as bad). These kids MUST take the supplement and some DHA every day.
These kids MUST have their essential oils about 3 times a day, every day. I do not know or care how or why they work, but folks, they do. I even got some for me. This makes them behave like regular kids should.

It is amazing. It is an adjustment. I don't always like it. Do the kids? No, not always, but they see enough difference in their own selves that they remind me to give the oil and remind me of the supplement and refuse to eat bread products with gluten. They know what life was like before and what it is like after. So we have made improvements in our home environment. It kind of feels like a band aid, but we have to deal with the physical ailments caused by gluten and ADD, and what I believe to be a chemical imbalance due to some early age head injuries from normal childhood falls.

If you want to know what oils and what supplement I use  I would be glad to share privately. Just know that sometimes conventional methods and medicines are not the answer.  I am thankful for the solutions we have come upon. I have gained much knowledge, from my personal experiences. HOWEVER, though this worked for us, it has become glaringly obvious that different things work for different families based on a number of parameters.

Blessings to you and yours!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Off to a good start....

We began the homeschooling year on Monday August 25. It was a good week. We have some pretty good solutions for the ADD and gluten intolerance, and oils/diet/behavior modifications for the one we suspect has a chemical imbalance, and the LD is getting more manageable.
The high schoolers are working hard and doing well. One is about to job search. One is planning her calendar and working in solace. We are waking at good times in the morning, and thanks to some wonderful ladies at church, we sisters are challenging each other to rise earlier than family, read bibles and get a jump start on the day. Also, our co-op starts next Friday, along with an activity group, a homeschool PE class, and dance classes , including one for moms! This is all good stuff.

Husband's company is in turmoil. The company is offering the hourly employees the same healthcare package and 401K matched retirement that the salary workers get, but the union protests and has chosen not to strike. There has been a lock-out until an agreement is reached. The union chose to meet for talks on September 21, so until then, DH is working from 4:40am until after 5pm each day, six days a week. It is hard to have so many long days each week. We are trying to be quiet at night and are going to bed at a more decent time. But it is hard not getting to see him much. It is almost like he is on a continual business trip. So we count our blessings that he is employed at a good company. We have food on the table and a home.

On a rather somber note though,  coming up in a week is the 9/11 anniversary for America, and tensions are high. Recently ISIS has been beheading Americans and Christians and causing all kinds of evil  havoc, Russia is invading Ukraine and defying everyone and making sure we all are aware they have nukes, 11 jets disappeared from Libya--really?--you can track people but you miss this??, and that is just the tip of it all. A world without God is turning more and more Godless. Or so it seems...Sometimes things have to hit rock bottom before they turn around.

On a more positive note, I choose to pray fervently and stay loyal to my God. The world situations are out of my control except through prayer anyway. Each day has enough trouble of its own. We are not to worry about those who kill the body, for they can't kill the soul. Still, the world is a scary place, some seasons more than others. And honestly, if it weren't these looming things, there would be something else. there always is. My job never changes. love my neighbor, be a follower of Jesus, pray and study and teach the truth in gentleness and love, raise my kids.

I hope your year is going well and in the midst of all life's situations, that you can see and feel God's blessings abounding. They are there always. Blessings to you and yours.